New here
My husband is an alcoholic. He drinks every afternoon/night if he doesn’t have to work the next day. I married him a year and a half ago knowing deep down there was a problem but not being able to admit it yet. Either the drinking wasn’t as bad when we first started dating or he hid it. I’m not really sure which. About a year ago I finally admitted to myself he is an alcoholic. He does not believe he has a problem. My (adult) stepchildren have since told me he has been this way their entire life. That was probably the catalyst that made me realize this wasn’t just going to go away.
There was abuse in his childhood and he blames that as the reason he drinks now. I see it as an excuse. He’s insecure. He’s passive aggressive. Are those common traits in an alcoholic? I don’t know. He’s a good person and treats me well. There is always a “but” though, isn’t there? But, when he drinks he acts like a child. It’s embarrassing. He sometimes also gets confrontational if I don’t go along with everything he wants/says. I’m trying to learn to disengage when that happens because it does no good to argue or confront him when he’s drinking. Our house is small though so there isn’t a lot of space to “get away”. If I go to bed he follows me. He doesn’t want to be alone when he’s drinking.
From reading this forum I know the general advice is to leave him. But I’m not ready to do that and may never be. I went to an addiction therapist a few months ago and had 3 sessions with her. She didn’t really tell me anything I didn’t already know. I’ve considered Al Anon but something in my head always stops me from going. So I guess I’m not ready for that either. I don’t know what I’m looking for here. Maybe just other people who know what it’s like.