It's all catching up to me...the emotional impact of all that's happened.
My sister remains in good spirits and is now going a little stir crazy. She's not used to sitting around. She talks about possibly losing her job as a result of her condition, and especially if it turns out that her tumor was an indication of cancer elsewhere in her body. I don't tell her not to worry about it. She'll worry no matter what I say, and for where she is now in the process, it's quite natural to focus on everyday concerns so as not to spend too much worrying about what she may be up against in terms of her health. Now that she's home and I'm back at work, she'll have plenty of time on her own to think about her mortality. Of course, I'll be here to listen and do whatever else she needs to get through this.
Not a single thought about drinking on my part. I see my therapist about once a month, basically for maintenance, and I'm seeing her this Friday. Also still going to meetings. I noticed over the weekend that it's been difficult for me to keep my mind on the things I need to do for myself, but doing my regular stuff has always been a big help for me, even though there are several moments when I stop and think about what's happening. My father died of lung cancer twenty years ago, a couple of months after someone else close to me died, also of cancer, so the memories -- actually the feelings attached to those memories -- are pushing their way to the forefront. I'm very sad. I'm only grateful that I'm able to be there for her.
It was good to see my family. I have two brothers, one who lives in California and the other, a doctor, who lives in New Hampshire. They were all here at different times during the week and over the weekend. Also Mary Ann and another sister who lives in Long Island. It was great to see and experience all the support.
Thanks again for all your support here on SR.