just an update... I am separated. Filed for divorce.
I saw the pattern starting with my daughter. My ex would always bring out the worst in me so I had no moral right to mention drinking. My daughter confronted her mom on the drinking and I saw my ex do the same thing to her.
That was enough for me to face my fears. Now that I am out, I feel I wasted a decade of my life, and wish I would have moved out years ago.
Seeing a great women. Business is getting on track. and I am happy.