I can somewhat relate to you. I'm in my late twenties and married to a man that I didn't know what addicted to pills. He dipped into them when we first started dating (I didn't know that at the time) and now he is 90 days sober. I go through the same feelings and emotions that you do..we just want the person we fell in love with back. I thought when he got clean and sober that life would be so much better, but it's not. He has to learn how to live again since he relied on drugs to help guide him through. I wonder myself if he will ever be his old self, but the more I think about it the more anxiety i get. I started therapy and it seems to be helping me, if u ever thought about it, I encorage u to give it a try! I hope you can figure out what to do! Focus on yourself and making yourself happy right now or else you will go emotionally insane. (I know that's easier said then done)