Iris, I'm glad you got to see the situation at home through other peoples' eyes. It seems the more you give, the more is expected of you. Concentrate on your own life, finding your own place where at least if you pay the bills you are paying them for yourself. Frankly, your AH sounds like a waste of space and a wholly negative influence on your life.
You won't gain anything by arguing with these two. Make your plans to withdraw quietly and leave them to it.