Jen,
Step one reads: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol— that our lives had become unmanageable.
My history proved that every time I took the first drink I became powerless over how many more I would have. Might be 2, might be 20, but I didn't seem to have any choice in the matter after that first one. I also had a strong obsession to drink (some call it the AV or addictive voice), and I often seemed to take that first drink even after swearing off alcohol for good. So in that way I was powerless over the first drink as well. For me it was a repeated cycle I couldn't seem to break...the mental obsession, followed by taking the first drink, setting off physical cravings for more drinks...and rinse and repeat. When I was sober all I could think about was drinking, yet every time I drank I was miserable. AA talks about reaching a point where you can't live with or without alcohol and that's where I ended up.
Yeah so for me my obsession for alcohol when sober made me powerless over the first drink, and my "allergy" to alcohol made me powerless over how much I would drink after drinking the first one. They key for me was to find a way to stop the obsession. If I can find a way to not take that first drink then the rest takes care of itself. I found that through working the steps the obsession to drink has been removed and I am no longer powerless over that first drink.
If you notice in the first step it says "we were powerless over alcohol" and "our lives had become unmanageable". Notice that "were" and "had become" are in the past tense. It doesn't say we are powerless and our lives are unmanageable for a reason. It's because by the time we finish working the steps we have found a new power. If you plan on sticking with AA I suggest finding a sponsor that will take you through the steps without delay. The answer lies within them, or at least it did for me.