Dear Erin
It sounds like you are doing absolutely great under the circumstances.
So much of what you describes sounds "normal." Some people lose our mates to a different disease than alcoholism. Looking at old photos and grieving is normal for them too.
The hard part of this disease, is that choice was involved in our mates' cases. Maybe they lost the power to choose later, but it always started with a choice to take that first drink.
This is all so new for you. Cut yourself some slack, as we say in the US!!! Keep coming back.