Dear Ones, I have been away from my computer and tablet but I'm trying to catch up today. I want you all to know that even though this is a very tough time, I am feeling pretty calm now and am doing ok. I'm not much of a cryer but I've been doing a lot of it lately and it relieves me to do it. Before I think I never cried because I was too numbed out. I have no desire (well maybe not NO desire) to use any chemical to try and make this go away. I know it won't help and I have not fallen back into depression. I am very grateful for this. My friends and family have been so supportive to me. Even my ex-husband's family have rallied around with phone calls and kind notes.
As for my son, he has been discharged from acute care and is now in the rehab center. He is very arrogant and doesn't seem to grasp the gravity of his situation. His liver is very damaged and his blood work is very bad. Beside these facts, he has pretty much lost everything and he just does not get it. His next step is a homeless person, I guess. I am so hoping for a miracle. Praying for one, even though I'm pretty much an agnostic. I feel very hopeless right now unless he finds some humility in his heart. I would so gladly take this on myself if it could be taken from him. But I do know that if I drain a bottle of vodka or swallow a handful of pills it will not change a thing.
I took a quick glance through the previous posts and your kind words of support are so appreciated. I am very grateful. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found you while I was detoxing. I truly do feel you were and are my lifeline.
Venecia, I hope your cold is better soon. Misery! I'm lucky. I rarely get them. And Oceanlady, I can just imagine you down there in Florida soaking up the sun. It will be yummy after the awful winter you have been having. I'm going back to California in a couple of weeks but they want the family to stay away for a while. It's pretty nice down there now which makes the drive easier.
Thank you and lots of love to you all!