Wow FriendOfBills. Thanks for that. I'm learning a lot from this thread myself!
Cynay, I think these people really have it down... please hang in there, be strong... I think by letting him still spin in your head and allowing yourself to reach out, you are only preparing for a pretty big crash in your life in the mist of this calm you have found for now....
I believe you are preparing to injure yourself, I know you want to reach out, I feel it all the time to be honest. But last time, or two, or 50th tries I always got hurt. I only have myself to blame, when they dont react with gratitude or appreciative or even seem to care for your kindness, it hurts.