LS -
This time around was similar, I was directly tackling my problems of isolation and reoccuring issues with my father by moving out.
New job, new place to live nearer to some friends and a new life. Things had finally clicked.
Nope, because here I am again. Lost it all in the space of a month, maybe it was too much to try and move out there all on my own. I read on here the other day "No major changes in the first year" and I remember reading it before, maybe it was too big a change and I expected too much of myself.
You've worked very hard this past year. I think it's fantastic that you are actively addressing your issues with social isolation and family frustration. Starting a new career, getting a full time job, and moving into your own apartment are healthy, mature things to do with your life.
My life looked good on paper when I was drinking. For me, the key was to understand how I really felt about my life, my home, my husband, my friends, my job. Being sober allowed me to take a deep inventory of myself - and I felt empty, angry, like I didn't have "enough." My choices were driven by my fears and emptiness rather than by peace, love and fulfillment. I'm not saying that's every drinkers experience. That was just mine.
I drank because I am an alcoholic. When I was unhappy, unfulfilled it was a white knuckled ride, but when I began to seek peace and joy, and to be who I truly am, the work of recovery became peaceful, joyful and fulfilling.
Petals - I can relate to your concerns about the weekend. It sounds like your boundaries are screaming for you do to something good for yourself. When that happens to me, as my life is surrounded by drinkers, I try to think of something to do that I will enjoy.
