Very interesting insights, Allfor. "Everything I did was authentic in regards to my feelings." Hmm. Unfortunately I'm not in that place, but I can see how it would be ideal to be there. Thanks for sharing.
Your second paragraph makes sense to me, too. I get it that my husband makes his own decisions. Actually reading some of the postings on the substance abusers boards helps me to see how conflicted this can be for people, though. They ask each other why they are engaging in behaviors that they really don't want, knowing the consequences.