getright15

So its been 24 hrs since my last drink. The past few days have been a living hell for my wife and I. We got into a major argument and that of course sent me over edge. Long story short she took the kids and left to stay in a hotel for a few days while I stayed behind in my drunken stooper. A lot of it is a blur and I really don't want to know since it will just make me feel a lot worse that I already do. My wife is a true champ....shes stuck out with me during all the battles Ive had with this disease. I don't want to live like this and put her in a fearful situation any longer. She deserves the old me back...the kids deserve their father back and I deserve my health back as I'm a type 2 diabetic and that combo doesnt mix.

Right now I'm filled with sorrow and disappointment in myself and for putting my family through some very tough days. I can't even begin to explain how bad I feel for putting her through the crap I've done. I have to stop this madness or I'll end up in jail where I don't want to be. I need to get my act together. I was self reflecting the other day and boy oh boy alcohol has gotten me some pretty rotten situations. Since I was 21 I have had a total of 4 DUI's...detox twice, rehab once. I'm soon to be 35 with a really good job, loving family, but I can't shake this part of my life. She's at her wits end with the drama drinking has brought to us. I'm personally am fed up with myself as well. The things I've done are unbelievable while drunk. Things I wouldn't even think about doing while sober. Boggles my mind and it sucks!