Helping my loved one and myself
Good Morning I am new to this forum and I come here to learn, understand and begin to start my life without my best friend. I have been struggling for fifteen years addicted to my boyfriend. He is a good soul at times but is lost in his darkness which is overwhelming. I am not pure as I walked in his darkness filled with drugs and alcohol for ten years. I have managed through my strength and God to be sober for five years. Of course being a Mom and a nurturer I have lived the last five years trying to save my significant other. I have been to NA meetings and am extremely smart. I have read all the books, researched everything about alcohol and drug addiction but none of the books tell you how to get over your heart. Friday I gave him the I don't love you anymore and I want you to leave. He did!!! Of course he was a mess on alcohol, marijuana and cocaine. I know I did the right thing but I'm beating myself up because I didn't want to let him go this way. I wanted to talk to him and make him understand I love him but I love me too. Sooo here I am struggling with my heart. If anyone can help me try to give me suggestions on how to help me stay strong I would so appreciate it.
Thank you