We never resolve anything because whenever I get the gusto to finally express myself he turns off and walks away. When I'm really upset, he pushes me until I tell him what's wrong (when it usually has to do with him) and then I feel like he punishes me for it. He also NEVER can be told he's wrong with out getting super defensive and turning on me. I feel like its easier to ignore issues than confront them because then at least I don't feel so guilty.
And this is the dynamic that keeps us stuck. I was trapped on the merry go round for 5 years. Florence posted a link to an article awhile back that I found very helpful and eye-opening. It refers to employers and employees but it totally described my alcoholic relationship.
Issendai's Superhero Training Journal - Sick systems: How to keep someone with you forever