Tamzo....
First of all--WELCOME TO THE FORUM!
I hear your frustration, confusion and pain. Alcoholism can turn the usual rules for engagement that are present for normal relationships on their head.
Given that alcohol is the first priority for the alcoholic all other things come in second.
If forced to choose between the alcohol or other relationships...the relationships have to come second, by default.
While he may have enjoyed the things that you did for him during the relationship (who wouldn't)....he probably didn't realize or figure that you would ever ask him to choose.
To be able to drink, the alcoholic, also, has to arrange all their own thinking so that they are not responsible for the destructive behavior that comes from it---that is what is called denial.
In that sense, he is just as..or, more "confused" than you are...lol.
There is so m uch to learn about this disease....so I encourage you to stay around and continue to read. Especially, the "stickies" at the top of the main page.
dandylion