Jodie,
It's been a really rough couple of months for you. I'm really surprised at how well you are holding up. You have tenacity, and you are a very strong person, just know that is true. You have shown it here over and over again.
I know how much you are hurting, I went thru that hurt also. I am really proud of you with the "no contact". You did really good.
I'm going to go back to the morning post again though. I forget if he emailed you or text you. I know we were speaking of people that may have a personality disorder. Not mentioning anything else.
If it is true, they are also unpredictable. Especially when they are not getting the responses that they are use to getting. There is no way to predict how they may act, when it is a totally different situation.
We have already agreed that he is verbally and emotionally abusive. He rages, he will threaten suicide, he will bang on your windows at night if you ignore him. He is physically abusive, he pushes you, and puts holes in the walls. If I told you how many holes were put in my walls, even with wall paper on them, I became an expert at fixing them.
This is where I was going in the early afternoon. He could turn dangerous. He is not use to getting his way with you, and he won't know how to deal with that. I know that I can say this, and you might remember seeing him sitting on the couch like a little lost boy, and just wanting to mother him. I went back to that place many times. If I was reading this like someone else wrote it to me, I would say that person is crazy, you need to see him when he's so nice............
Why would I talk about this stuff, when I want to tell you just to not answer that phone, forget it, get over it, he's no good for you. It's because it wasn't helpful for me. I need to vomit out the toxic stuff. I needed validation. I thought I was crazy. Everyone else saw him as the best, and I was living with a monster.
I can only tell you to keep those messages, have a friend in charge of them, only alert you if they are or seem to be threatening. Even if you need to get another phone for yourself, emails, don't open them, forward them to someone you trust to read them.
I may sound overly paranoid, but I do have to say one thing, I went thru over 25 years, you are at about 5, and yours sounds worse then mine.
Anytime you want to talk, I'll be around.
(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
amy