Boy, do I feel you. I made it to 6 months and just fell off. Stayed away from here mostly, had little stretches of no drinking, but they got shorter and shorter and last week I was close to drinking as much as I was before I got sober. It was both terrifying and completely normal. Yesterday I realized I cannot possibly go back to that life and I didn't want to. So, like you, here I am again, putting in the effort and remembering why I stopped in the first place.
There is no other way for us than to stop now and stop for good.
Let's do this thing.