PNM
thank you so - so much for checking in. I will be thinking about it for quite a while no doubt.
things are good now you so, no great actually....I think if you have the drinking business under control as you say -- just drinking occasionally then I would be thinking all is great too. I mean why does it drive you mad? why does moderating suck?
if things are so great then why are you unhappy? and since you have the drinking under control then why bother quitting completely---
I'm not being a smarty pants here....I am 30 days sober today----first time in 18 years....EVERY NERVE IN MY BODY IS ON FIRE!! I feel like I am torturing myself half the time....I ask myself -- what are you waiting for?? Have a drink and stop this pain!
So when I read your post I am baffled, and envious I admit. Would you have wished that you never went back to drinking at all? Right now I cannot imagine 8 months without alcohol....just hoping I make it thru day 30....
What changed in your life when stayed sober, what changed when you began to moderate?