OT feeling stressed
I work for an extremely high profile organisation, for a manager who I am quite sure (along with being a genius) has some sort of personality disorder.
I was new to this organisation last year, and within 3 months my RAH's drinking escalated beyond all imagining, and as many of you know this time included multiple hospital admissions, suicide attempts and all other sorts of traumatic incidents.
My manager was the only person who was aware my RAH had a 'breakdown' (as one day I was contacted my police whilst at work after a suicide attempt). She knew he was in 'hospital'. Never once did she ask how he was or how I was. Weird. But whatever.
Now she wants me to take the lead on a mental health initiative at work. Which is a great opportunity, BUT is all a bit raw for me. The intuitive is going to be very personalised, holistic in its approach and will touch on all elements and facets of mental health, including suicide and addictions.
This is a HIGH performance, HIGH pressure work environment. Feelings are NOT ok here. Being the absolute professional is the only acceptable way of being.
Yet this is going to be quite triggering for me, and the more I'm running with this, the more my anxiety of growing. Its just too personal for me. I have to meet with our Lead Partner, my PD'erd manager and a high profile writer/ media personality in Australia who has survived a long history of HI and suicide attempts. He's going to be talking with our staff. Ive listened to some of his 'stuff' and its very triggering for me. I'm REALLY worried about controlling my reactions in this meeting.
The business is taking the traditional approach - focussing on those siffering with MH issues. I want to say "what about our staff who are SUPPORTING family and spouses who have MH issues. They are just as important. Their stress has just as much impact on our business as those employees who directly suffer. What about THEM"?? I think this is important...but I need to keep myself calm.
Nothing to respond to here....this is the only place I can get this feeling out.
I'll do it, get on with the job, focus on what positive impact I might have on others by leading this project. Deep breath Jarp....