My exhole wasn't even an alcoholic and I still felt crushed the day of our divorce. My AM was practically doing cartwheels down the courthouse steps and I was fighting back tears. Did I want to stay married to him? No. Was the relationship healthy? Not by a longshot. But I still had this intense sadness and dread because I had closed a chapter that was supposed to be one of the happiest of my life. I was scared of being alone, being a single mom, and starting over. It's completely normal, and it will pass. Just keep reminding yourself of the hell he put you through.