IamRising

Hey everyone! I've been browsing the forums for a little while and decided I'd join in. I don't think I've ever seen a place more positive, supportive, or understanding, and I hope it will be of help to me.

I am 21 years old. I started drinking when I was 18, and it spiraled out of control pretty quickly. It went from social drinking, to out of control social drinking, to secretive drinking in social situations, to out of control secretive drinking in social situations. Alcohol has been my crutch. I've used it to self-medicate in situations that made me nervous or anxious, and I decided that needed to stop.

Seeing the way my dad's alcoholism has impacted himself and my family, I have made the choice to nip the problem in the bud before I'm in too deep. I have my whole life ahead of me and the thought of alcohol taking over all my potential makes me sick to my stomach.

Though there are certain situations that a psychological craving for alcohol comes up, I am not physically dependent on it nor have I experienced withdrawal symptoms (aside from feeling guilty and depressed after a night of too much drinking due to embarrassment).

I already told myself I'd stop once, but that only lasted two months. I find it hard to stay away when it seems like "the thing to do" in college. I was feeling left out. I thought I could be more careful this time around, but I can't. Simply one drink isn't enough for me and I almost always end up blacking out, even if I tell myself I'll only have two drinks...it just never happens.

So! Enough is enough. I'm seeing a counselor next week and hoping that between that and posting here, I'll be able to stay away for good.

Any words of advice or encouragement is welcome, and I'd absolutely love to hear from anyone else in their 20s!