wrote a long letter to my mom as I was getting to the end of my energy rope...helping her with Dad's final years...helping and parenting in my own family.
she 'forgave' me for the 4 years until he died (e.g., until she didn't need me anymore)...and then it really didn't end well...the only one who suffered was me.
the silver lining for me in all that...was that during that 4 years...my oldest daughter was a drug user (kept it hidden from family of origin)...2 years after Dad died...second daughter used drugs; addicted to crystal meth...I begged for support and did not get it...got cut off instead by sister/mother--brothers never had been emotionally available...as I learned over the past 12-13 years since Dad died. continued to 'support' mom until I went down for the count. learned.