I haven't talked to my mom since July. We had a big argument about how she thinks I'm an a-hole and about how I make her life so difficult, blah, blah, blah and I was telling her that I'm sick of her blaming me for all of her life troubles. Same stuff, different day. Then she started telling me that she was going to have a relationship with my kids and not me and I reached my breaking point with her. My mom is NPD and ACoA, maybe a binge drinker too - but it doesn't matter, she's an a-hole to me and I can't deal with it. That's the bottom line.
I blocked her on my phone. She immediately started triangulating with my husband when I wasn't responding to her at all. Then I unblocked her after two months, I think, maybe 3 months and she was sending these text messages about how she was so sorry that I didn't have time for her because my life was such a mess. Like WTF?! Since then, with al-anon and therapy, I've started to feel a lot of compassion for her. I sent her a Merry Christmas text on Christmas. She sent me flowers for my birthday and I sent her a thank you text. But I don't think I can handle actually talking with her right now.
What I have to keep in mind is that even though I've been making strides in my recovery…she hasn't changed and doesn't want to change. I'm not sure how much my strides in recovery will effect our interactions because the only difference is my attitude. She's still going to put me down and blame me for things and try to control and guilt me into getting whatever outcome she wants. So for those reasons, I'm still at very limited contact with my mom. And I view my no-contact with her on a daily basis though because it's easier. For today, I can't deal with her brand of crazy so I'm not going to call or text her.