So sorry for your sad situation!! I completely relate to your frustration with your codie parents. My mom's alcoholism is so far gone, I don't know if it is even possible to reason with her anymore. That being said, my father's enabling behavior drives me insane. I am not sure who is more sick, my mother or my father. If I were in your shoes, I would make my focus entirely on my mother's comfort and my chance to have some last minute bonding time and I would treat your AS like nothing more than an annoying, ill-behaved pet. If someone were hired to help your mother transition, they would not bother to deal with any other family dynamic going on in the house. I would try to envision yourself that way, to make it all easier.