My Partner and his Cocaine Use / Or am I selfish?
I've been with my partner for over 6 years. I was aware of his occasional cocaine use when we got together, I rarely saw him take cocaine but I was aware that he occasionally liked to use, and that his 20's was full of all kinds of drug use.
I naively expected that as he was 32 at the time of getting together, and due to his comments at the time of getting together that he was ready to put his 20's behind him and take on a proper relationship that things would work out and we'd live happily ever after.
As it turns out relationships are difficult enough without throwing in regular drug use in to the equation.
We do both regularly smoke weed on the evenings, but when his cocaine use is dramatically reduced I find the relationship with weed use; a good relationship with communication, respect, love, honesty and sex.
But the future is creeping up on us, and he doesn't ever seem to think about it (unless we are in a period of cocaine use free) for example he will spend his dispensable income on cocaine, and tell me that it is his right to do what he wants with his money after a long week at work - how can I argue this - he does work hard - it is his money - the bills are all paid and food is on the table...
..But he went to sleep at 9pm on my Birthday after providing a present and thinking he had done enough to keep me happy on my birthday... I wanted a card, a kiss, a I love you and a conversation rather than laying next to the man I love whilst he slept through, looking at the shiny earrings I knew that I needed more from my life partner than material gifts.
He felt he was ok to spend his remaining cash on cocaine after telling me he couldn't afford the meal out he had promised; after telling me couldn't afford to come away for the weekend to a friends, after telling me he couldn't afford to take time off work to come to my parents party. The number of let downs is ever-growing.
I have mentioned it to him but I'm told that I'm selfish, that I moan all the time.
He is not very forthcoming with telling or showing how he feels and we still live apart, he's still yet to accept an invitation to meet my family, sex is near none existent and he's only told me once he loves me and he wont even reply/ respond when I make an effort to tell him that I care/love for him.
Which of course I do love him, dearly. I don't know if walking away is an option...