I always need to ask myself what kind of life do I want and what does the actual evidence support as a way to get there. This is a dangerous place to be because it is so easy to get caught up in the circular logic of alcoholism. It seems there is always some logical sounding out to steer you away from the evidence, to steer you toward an exception in your experience. I would love to be a normal drinker, but I have 30 years of evidence that says its not going to happen. Do I really need 31 years? Has anything changed since I had 10 years of evidence, or 5 years?