Sorry to hear about Lemmy being so sick.
Your post had some familiar rings to it. I know it sucks right now but it does seem like you are heading in the right direction and making progress.
I was in the same boat about not knowing what the heck I wanted etc. It took me over a year to really 'feel' like I had passion or interest in something. I decided to plant flowers. I like it and it has good memories attached. I could do it at home with small children running around. When I started it I was just going through the motions for a summer or two. I hung in there and did it just to say I had a hobby because it seemed so bland to have nothing. I really enjoy it now and it has been a really positive thing.
My winter project is daydreaming about re-doing my house. It has been a fun exercise to think about what I really like for a change. My current decorating method has been to take whatever picture someone gave me from their give away bin - and hang it on whatever nail was in the wall when I moved in
Your post also reminded me of something kind of funny. It was a 2-3 months after our divorce was final and he came to see the kids at my house. He said it was nice and to bad I couldn't buy something this nice for them. I got to say "I already bought it." The look on his face.
Oh my. Few sentences have given me that much satisfaction.
Sounds like a very powerful therapy session. Good therapy is kind of like a good work out. Satisfying but hard work that wears you out!