I'm not hip. Whats an SO. I guess it doesn't matter the main thing is if it's hurting your sobriety it can't be good. My sobriety is the first most important thing in my life today. If I drink I will loose everything, including life itself. Do what you know you have to do to get and stay sober. staying sober is easier than getting sober. Glad you made it back, many don't. You may never have to go through this again, Get to a meeting ASAP and be honest like you are here. If you have a higher power, pray. That's my 2 cents. I feel for you and know coming back ain't no picnic. Your back to the drawing board but you have a clean slate. You didn't loose the time you had sober, you will still have what you learned, Now you just have a new start date. One day at a time,one moment if it helps.
peace-Jonathan