I can so relate to what you wrote..."so afraid to come out and say what I need"..
that is soooo me! I call it, "I don't want to rock the boat". I have been married to my AH for 1 1/2 years...before that I was in a relationship for 12 years with an A...and he was a compulsive gambler...he would go off on me on a regular basis..I do not do well with conflict so I would just keep things inside and say, "everything is fine" when it wasn't...not a good way to live...and certainly not a good way to be a partner...I am still trying to improve on this with my current AH...I went to therapy yesterday for the first time in months...she said that I needed to write things down when I felt I was withholding my feelings...or trying to not "rock the boat". I also have learned I do need to be upfront with my AH...not be afraid of his reaction...it is hard though..good for you for looking at a new place...it is a step in the right direction. thanks for your posting. it has helped me..