To me reading your post and not knowing you looks like you took a BIG step in healing and towards happiness. I think it was Oprah who said something like "When you know better, you do better." Now that you know what you need to change to feel better you will work towards it and that's all any of us can do. "And knowing is half the battle" (Ninja Turtle quote? Lol! What is it with me and quotes today?
I'm sorry you are sad but don't be sad too long. Right now, treat yourself just like you would treat a friend who was feeling like you are...with tender loving care.
Hugs, Kari