I just need to say something.
There are a few facts about my life that I need to come to understand:
- I have been horribly mistreated by my father;
- I have been ignored, pushed aside, and otherwise abused by my mother;
- When I was a kid, people turned a blind eye simply because they didn't want to get involved in the matter;
- And I feel at fault for a lot of it.
These are the facts that I will eventually accept:
- My father hated me because he hated himself;
- My mother forgot about me because she couldn't get past my father;
- The people who ignored the problem were probably just as horrified at the time as I was, but didn't know what to do;
- And I didn't deserve any of it.
I am struggling tonight with a lot of PTSD related things and am having to remind myself that I did not deserve it...it was not my doing. I didn't ask for it. What it really boils down to though, is that I'm worth more than the treatment I received as a child.
I know a lot of people here struggle with the same feelings. You are worth more than what you got too.