You are waaayyyy to hard on yourself, girl. Waaay too hard.
But you won't begin to love yourself or sort anything out until you stop drinking.
I had a similar attitude to you about myself. I think I was a "bad" mum.
You know that critical voice inside you ? The one that makes you feel so bad about yourself ? How about telling it to shut the f**k up, Briar ?
You think that you can never be well. But you can. I thought that too. xx