Feeling the pain in sobriety
A common thread I read on SR from those who have relapsed is they were experiencing some level of pain in their lives. The pain of loss, illness, relationships, employment or living situation are the major ones. At some level, many who had some sobriety were feeling worse sober than when they drank or used. An event of pain caused them to pickup.
I have experienced more pain in some regards sober than when I was intoxicated. I have had fleeting thoughts about washing that pain away - how can I feel worse sober??? Is this really what recovery is about!??
I have learned that the difference really is that now we can feel again. When drinking and/or using we could not feel. Our emotions were stunted. the pain was indeed present, but we covered it up.
Eight months ago today I committed to living soberly. Since last June 9th, I have been in pain at times but have not picked up. When life happens, I have a plan to call someone, post here and do what I need to do in order to get through the event. I embrace the pain as part of my recovery knowing it is truly another step forward and not a feeling of - what the hell, I might as well drink!
If you are feeling pain and are sober - Be Thankful! It is part of real, honest recovery. When we commit to sobriety pain will be part of life and we will feel it.
I stay sober today because of the grace given to me which includes the pain of life well lived.
Thank you to all my SR friends and members here who make it possible by humbly providing support to all.
Can you relate an experience of feeling pain in sobriety, but not drinking and recognizing it as a growth spurt???
Kind Regards,
FlyN