Hello and welcome.
Bipolar here, too. I used alcohol to self-medicate for many years. It stabilized my moods into being drunk, which I thought I could handle rather than the mood swings.
I could never control myself, either. Never saw the point of it- I drank to get drunk and after the first one, there was no telling when it would end.
This led to every day drinking. And I turned into a drunk. Alcohol didn't help with the mood swings anymore. I was wild and out of control. It made the illness worse.
Good for you (and your wife) on deciding to quit. Bipolar is eminently treatable sober.
I found the right meds after many trials and now I'm stable and happily sober.
Best to you on your journey. You can do it. You'll also find a lot of support here, so post away. You're not alone in your struggles.