Pippi, check out this site.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) : How to Recognize a Narcissist
My ex, DC15's dad, is a narcissist and this site helped me piece together a lot of his behavior. They lay it out in layman's terms with examples.
This behavior is confusing and confounding for sure, but if he is indeed a narcissist alcoholic, this is who he is and it's never changing. Not with sobriety, and not with therapy (if he'd ever submit to it, which NPD's don't). A snake is a snake is a snake is a snake is a snake.