Why Doesn't He Want to be Responsible for his Children?
Hi angels,
I went out last night with a fellow I met. He is separated and has two young children. He has shared custody so lives with the children 50% of the time. He told me what a great arrangement it is because then he really gives his all to his children when they are with him. He is really interested in different parenting techniques, in their education...
Then I explained how xah remains in the US, seeing the children for one week vacations in Oct, Dec, Feb, and April; with potentially a month in summer. How he has never told me/asked me to move back to the US so he could be with the children, he has never tried to get a job here. He has spent well over 200 grand on attorney fees to try to give us the least money possible for child support/alimony...but he spends large sums paying for these one week holidays with the children and to retain the family 6 br house...
My friend last night said that he would live in the center of hell with his children if that is what it would take to be with them. He would follow them anywhere because he would die without them.
I feel like xah is dying inside from what has happened to his life. And so why is he persisting in the crazy set-up he has created for himself? Why can't he talk to us, say that he wants us back in the US? Or let us go but allow us to continue our lives in peace without all the weird manipulation?
I used to be so afraid that I'd be forced out of my home here that I couldn't even ask these questions. I was living scared. I felt guilty for staying here. But now it has been close to 5 years in this country and it is home. The children are well integrated. I don't feel guilty any more. I made a good choice to stay. So now I can ask the question, 'why has he not moved heaven and earth to see/be with/care for his children? He was a very involved parent. Yes, he was irresponsible/reckless/negligent/abusive at times. But he did love us.