Hey, Time. Give yourself credit. I think you're doing great. Breaking up just hurts, especially when the hurt comes from what we think is a promising, meaningful relationship. The intensity of a relationship with an alcoholic is usually pretty extreme, right? So we fall hard, and the harder the fall, the deeper the grief, I think.
So...lesson learned the hard way...but great things can come of this for you, and I think they will. Your healing has started. You're taking a hard look at you and that, my friend, is such a gift. Maybe one day, years from now, when he's become a distant thought (and he will, I promise) you'll run into him somewhere and have a chance to thank him for helping you on your journey to personal healing. Because by then, you will have grown tremendously, I have no doubt. Thanks to guys like him, you and I and others here are able to learn that the reasons we choose alcoholics and addicts are because of our own insecurities/needs/brokenness. Lessons learned, gifts of healing accepted.
You are strong, capable, beautiful, and deserving of wonderful things. You'll find them. Just keeping working on yourself until then. You'll get there.