Originally Posted by
equanamama 
i am kicking myself that i didn't get into high gear the week she was here.
i guess i am just scared to deal with this, and i am a single mother so this is on me. Her dad is in town but he is not always a nice person. she asked for help talking to him and i know i chickened out on that. it has taken me years to set those boundaries so i am not relaying things between kids and him. But she did ask for rehab and help talking to him.
Welcome to SR, equanamama. I'm glad you found us here; there is a lot of experience, strength and hope shared among us. I hope you can spend some time reading the many stories here. Make sure not to miss the stickies at the top of the page, also. This thread from the stickies might be a good place to start:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
There has just been a new section to the forum added, specifically for those whose A is a parent, child, sibling or other blood relative rather than a spouse. It's new, as I say, and does not have many posts yet, but if you'd like to check it out, here's the link:
NEW! Family Members of Addicts and Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Regarding your post, I'd like to mention that there's no need for "kicking yourself for not going into high gear." Although it feels that way, it most certainly is NOT "all on you" to handle your daughter's addiction/alcoholism. It is on HER. I understand your desire to be supportive, but she is an adult and must be the one to make the decision to get sober as well as do the work involved. You say she is asking for "help" w/her father and w/rehab. Can you clarify what sort of help she's asking for? And what does her father have to do w/her taking action to get sober?
I know there are many here who've been in your shoes, and I'm sure you'll get a lot of help and understanding. Glad you've decided to start your OWN journey of recovery. Wishing you strength and clarity.