It's been a long time since I felt a craving or had a serious thought about going back to drugs or booze...but I had enough of those kinds of episodes not to be complacent, so although I consider a serious wobbly unlikely, I never consider my self 'safe'.
It's not a life lived on tenterhooks - I'm just being realistic. If anything happens I'm ready...if not, I'm still ready, lol
I think the measure of recovery lies in how we respond to thoughts, not in never having the thoughts.
I realise this flies in the face of some opinions, but there it is. This is my recovery.
If the thoughts are really troubling you MF why not try some other meetings - get some new faces involved?
D