Went out with my Lady and her mom, for her mom's birthday.
We had a nice time, laughing and talking and enjoying the food.
Each of them had a glass of wine with dinner. I had water, with lemon in it.
But there I was, occasionally having a hard time looking at my Lady when she'd sip her wine, thinking to myself "well, a glass of wine would be nice. Is that really so bad? Could that really hurt? A glass of wine?".
This morning I'm headed to the hospital to volunteer as a speaker on the detox ward. I'm not going to let those thoughts grow in my head, so I'll share them as part of my talk with folks today.... and I needed to share them here to help keep them from taking root and quietly growing weeds in the garden of my sobriety.
For over a year now, things are better. No hangovers, no self-loathing, no wondering what I did. I'm healthier and sharper and more present in my life. I'm growing emotionally and I'm better able to be there for my family and my community and my self.
But there it is.... still.... a nice evening suddenly intruded upon and plagued by that old voice.
Have a good day, everyone!! Stay sober!
