Tagging on to Drunkyswife, may I ask a question of those of you who have been through this? I take it that 24 hours doesn't mean someone is sober, and I like AnvilheadIIs definition of sobriety (a series of actions). But how long does it take before someone starts to think clearly again? My husband has been drinking heavily for about 5 years, but apparently stopped drinking three weeks ago. What does it take to clear one's alcohol-fogged brain; a month? Three?
The moment when I will think his brain is getting clear will be the day he reaches step 9 in AA. So far he's not even at step 1.
Good luck with your conundrum, Drunkyswife. Maybe your husband will be like mine when he stops drinking, mostly passed out on the couch (but pissy when he wakes up). I share your problem of wanting to be supportive and connected but needing to protect myself (and, frankly, angry that he puts his family through this). It's really hard to be warm when you feel cold. Of course AlAnon, meditating, therapy, etc. help.