Hi,
The conversation you just described having with him reminds me of ones I used to have with my ex while we were having problems and "supposedly" trying to work things out.
I'd ask questions because I needed answers and he wouldn't give answers because he wanted to "maintain the control."
Only problem was after I had enough of that I took control and dumped his butt.
Your bf wants his cake and eat it too, he wants you in the wings and his freedom to drink too. His not answering you is his way of maintaining that. It's called "crazy making". The best thing you can do is take the bull by the horns get to some alanon meetings, keep coming to this board and making decisions based on what you want not on what he wants. Don't ask for answers you won't get any.
Ngaire