He's an alcoholic. He doesn't have the prerequisites for empathy. He also doesn't have the prerequisites to do anything logical. I'm sure there are resources out there for you to get help with your depression. I'm not defending him at all, but you are responsible for yourself and getting yourself out of the muck. It's been hard, but I've almost gotten myself back into the light completely. I had to stop making excuses for why I couldn't get to a therapist for help and meds - there was no excuse. Eventually you've gotta start taking care of yourself. Just sitting around letting him tear you down isn't going to help.