Wow, what a beautiful letter...my heart just aches for you...I have only been married for 1 1/2 years and I can relate to how my AH has changed. He thinks he is not hurting anyone by drinking...he normally drinks just at the house but last night he left and headed to a bar. I wish I had the courage to face my resentments of his drinking..even though he is physcially there mentally he is not...you are fortunate that your AH does not verbally hurt you during his drunk state...thank you so much for sharing and God bless you and your family...