sorry to hear about your MS and recent bout Brynn. Hope you can get back to running soon.
I'm also honored that you read 'even' my posts...
The bottom line is that we as individuals must come to the final conclusion that no matter what we decide to call it (our alcohol thing), we must recognize the only way to "cure" it is to not drink.
And for me, myself and I, me, myself and I are the only ones who can make that happen.