Quitting Alcohol for me?
In the light of everything coming to a head in my own journey with having come from alcoholic parents, to a laundry list of bad relationships, to my own experimentations and abuses or possible addictions with drugs and codependency.... I have had this indescribable feeling that I just need to stop drinking alcohol altogether. It has brought soooo much pain into my life. I'm not a heavy drinker... I usually want to pass out after 3/4 beers and I can't say that I ever truly feel all fun when I am drinking... It just seems counterproductive to what I'm dealing with to partake in it anymore. I live with my mom who has taken on to drinking up to 10 beers a night to cope with the loss of my step dad just shy of two years ago.... and we lost him to liver cancer because of his drinking.
I never wanted to admit that I may just need to give it up altogether. I fuel drawn to it in a way that scares me... that someday I might become my mother. And right now I am determined to set the course right for the rest of my life and my two daughters.
Having said all that, I am going cold for at least a year just to challenge myself. I enjoy challenging myself. I want to know what it's like to live a sober life. I want to know if it will actually help me drop a little weight. I want to know that I'm not waivering in my decision to leave my xabf and to finally deal with my codependent relationship with my mom.
Today is day one. And I am stoked!