It's going to be ok, ontherightpath. You sound ready this time - and we have to be ready.
It's understandable to feel remorseful, and it's ok if it helps you be determined to quit - but try not to let shame hold you down. You can rise above the negative feelings and reach out for a wonderful new life. I was dependent on alcohol to help me cope, but as you said - it doesn't do a thing for us. Rather than calming us down, it actually creates more anxiety. We're with you as you get through your Day 1.