Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
allmirages...
Welcome to the Board. I am incredibly grateful and thankful that you've taken the step to post after lurking for a year.
Vale beat me to the punch in terms of greeting you. However, I'm grateful for this words in response to your post: addiction will destroy us only if we let it. I doubt very much that now knowing what you know you'll allow that to happen.
When some people get into NA or AA, they will use the program in such a way that it provides cover for their outrageous behavior. The core of those programs, in my view, is to encourage and instill a sense of personal responsibility and accountability. Sadly, there are those out there who don't absorb those lessons, and in all likelihood, this guy sounds like one of those people.
But you know what? That's his problem. It has nothing to do with you.
Do not personalize what he's done. Do not beat yourself up too much. Instead, choose to learn from your experiences. He's bad news, and I can tell you with a high degree of confidence he will not change. So ice him once and for all.
Since you've been lurking for a year, you no doubt have read the posts of other members who have been where you are. I would go back and re-read those posts that you've found helpful. Accept that you're feeling what you're feeling now, and that's OK because in time, that will change. You're going to be OK. Just do what is best for you.
Again, Welcome to the Board.