So don't drive that route home. I've been sober 8 yrs. before and never discovered anything earth-shattering as to why I drank--I just did. Planning ahead if only for a few hrs. has helped me a great deal--less chance of the AV ambushing me. I found everything I use right here on SR--and yes I go to meetings once in a great while. I no longer put my eggs in one basket. Best wishes on making a work-able plan for YOU.