The Buck Stops Here
To the List of things I've had to re-think - whether I go to Bars for Food, or what new things I do at certain times of day - I've also had to rethink acceptance of this entire 'precipice'-based thinking that I'm never truly Sober. That I'm only one helpless moment away from a drunk Lifetime of misery. Again. I've also had to learn to recognize how pervasive this sort of 'Projection' is when someone tries to foist their paradigm on me.
When I realized how utterly false this paradigm was, and the various attempts to define the Sobriety discussion in accordance with such presumptions, I took that irrelevant Chess Board of imminent Relapse and upended it off the Table onto the Floor. Doing this is not untrammeled Ego. It's healthy Self Determination. It is a fundamental component of continued Sobriety. It also terminates self-doubt over whether my future Sobriety is 'real', and sustainable.
It has ceased, for me, being about what constrained Chess moves toward Sobriety I need to make. That Chess Board is someone else's. It's their's to own. Not mine.
I define my Sobriety. I also define the Rules by which I maintain my Sobriety.
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